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Couples Therapy: Creating more happiness

Writer's picture: Lisa StrubeLisa Strube

Updated: Aug 5, 2021




Here’s a question-would you rather have one grand gesture of love over a long period of time or many little gestures of love over a long period of time? Think carefully.


Now here’s some science that might help you decide. According to Drs. John and Judy Gottman, pioneers of couples therapy, it is important to be consistent when expressing fondness and appreciation.


Being fond and affectionate consistently builds trust and safety in the relationship.


Trust and safety enhance connection, fun, and playfulness, which are all needed to have a successful relationship. I'd like to encourage you to text your partner throughout the day to say you are thinking about them, ask them how they are doing, or if they need help with anything that day. Just taking some time texting your partner a couple times a can make them feel valued. When your partner feels valued, it makes it easier to reciprocate showing fondness and admiration for you.


Something that also might be helpful is to spend fifteen minutes a week with your partner to express things you appreciate about each other. This gives you the opportunity to strengthen connection and intimacy.


Hope these things help on your journey of connection with your loved ones.


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